Lil'monster Posted February 26, 2006 Report Share Posted February 26, 2006 those are too funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowman Posted February 27, 2006 Report Share Posted February 27, 2006 >>Subject: Aircraft Maintenance>> >>>It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to>fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.>>After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet",>which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics>correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots>review the gripe sheets before the next flight.>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some>actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a>P); and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.>>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an>accident. (I think they mean fatality)>>P: Left inside>main tire almost needs replacement.>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.>>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.>>P: Something loose in thingypit.>S: Something tightened in thingypit.>>P: Dead bugs on windshield.>S: Live bugs on back-order.>>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute>descent.>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.>>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.>S: Evidence removed.>>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.>S: DME volume set to more believable level.>>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.>S: That's what they're for.>>P: IFF inoperative.>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.>>P: Suspected crack in windshield.>S: Suspect you're right.>>P: Number 3 engine missing.>S: Engine found>on right wing after brief search.>>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.>>P: Target radar hums.>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.>>P: Mouse in thingypit.>S: Cat installed.>>And the best one for last.......>>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget>pounding on something with a hammer.>S: Took hammer away from midget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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